5 years

Five years ago today, my whole world was turned upside down. The hardest day of the calendar year is and will always be June 4th, the day my precious Kenley boo gained her angel wings and left a permanent hole in my heart. My heart has never been the same since the day hers stopped beating. The four days we spent in Riley Children’s Hospital when she was sick, were the longest days of my life. To witness my baby girl in her hospital bed, fighting for her life, and not even knowing what was wrong with her until her autopsy results came back… That is something that no parent should ever have to go through. I remember feeling like I had an outer body experience, my face and my entire body literally felt numb and thinking out loud, “This can’t be real.” How could this be real? Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children, but I am forced to carry on with my life daily with this heavy heart that has been shattered into a million pieces. All I have left now are her memories and I will forever cherish each one that I have of her. She loved taking pictures and doing Snapchat videos with me and I am beyond thankful that I will always have those. My Kenley Boo still lets me know she is here with me by sending her signs, I’ve been seeing a lot of cardinals lately. They say, “When a cardinal appears, an angel is near,” & I always know it is her. While driving home early this morning, I seen a shooting star in the sky, I believe in my heart that was her way of letting me know, “I’m still here Mommy, I never left you & I will always be with you.” Her signs keep me going and she always sends them when I need them the most. She is my angel in the sky.

Until we meet again, my sweet Kenley Boo, I will forever be missing you. I love you so very much. I live for the day I am reunited with you, but until that day comes, I will forever be the voice of you and keep your memory alive.

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